Shining the Light of Love Onto Our Shame

One week ago today my son sought help for his drug addiction. Just like cancer, addiction is a disease that affects the entire family. When someone in our family gets a cancer diagnosis, we rally around the sick person giving them love and encouragement to stay strong and fight. We immediately reach out to our family, friends, church, and communities for prayers and support.

With addiction, that is rarely the case. My 11-year personal experience in being the mom of an addict is that I had immense shame about my son’s drug addiction. Shame has revealed itself to me as a voice in my head that tells me, “I am a terrible mom.”“If I had been a better mom my son would never have tried drugs.”“What will people think of me if they know my son is anaddict?”

I know I am not alone. Shame is a feeling that everyone experiences. The problem with it is that it keeps us hiding the parts of ourselves that our ego has cast into the dark recesses of our psyches. Hiding these “unlovable”parts of ourselves is toxic and leads to our own forms of addiction. Our shame stays locked in our bodies and if left unhealed on the emotional level, it will eventually manifest on the physical level through physical illnesses and oftentimes serious diseases.

As a person who is committed to my overall wellness – body, mind, and spirit – I pay close attention to my feelings so that I can feel and heal them. I was being extra loving and gentle with myself last week because I was feeling deep pain after seeing firsthand how sick my son is. I was nurturing myself with yoga, meditation, walking, and journaling. I became aware that I have shame around my son’s illness. I prayed about it and asked to heal my shame and release it from my body. I received clear guidance to reach out to my Facebook friends for prayers for my son to heal his addiction.

I made a post on my personal Facebook page asking for prayers for a miracle for my son. I shared about my shame about his addiction and publicly let it go. It was a brave and scary thing to do. I am blown away by the outpouring of love and prayers that our family received. I am deeply touched and grateful to be surrounded by such a loving, supportive community. I learned that, like cancer, every person has been affected by the disease of addiction in some way. The response to my post helped me to feel renewed hope for my son. I released my shame around his illness and I feel a deep healing within. I am focused on staying present and allowing the power of grace to work its loving magic in our lives.

I am not suggesting you shout out on your Facebook page all the things you have hidden in shame, but I am asking you to have the courage to go within yourself and see where you are hiding shame. Shame prevents us from healing and loving ourselves. I suggest journaling and meditation as powerful tools to help you identify where shame is hiding in the darkness of your shadow. Are you willing to shine the light of Love onto your shame so that you can release it and heal? Be gentle and loving with yourself. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a child. Remember everyone feels shame. You are worthy. You are lovable. I love you.