It feels like grief is my teacher who held me back a year in school.

My last blog post was almost a year ago. In it I shared about my grief over losing my Dad and our Labrador Retriever, Abby.

In many ways, this year feels like a repeat of last.

grief is my teacher — My step dad, Frank Roberts on his 80th birthday

My sweet step dad made his transition in February.

Then a few months later our beloved Standard Poodle, Marley, crossed the Rainbow Bridge.

In May we said goodbye to our beautiful home of 15 years. Even though my husband and I made the choice to downsize, it was extremely painful to leave.

We made countless memories in that home. It sheltered us through good times and sad. It was the stage for more dinner parties, pool parties, holiday gatherings, and life celebrations than I can count.

It’s been six months since we moved. I haven’t been able to bring myself to drive by and see it now that its sheltering another family.

Grief has been a permanent resident inside me for several years.

Grief is my teacher.

It’s taught me many things:

To be grateful that I am blessed with loving relationships.
To savor each moment with those I love.
That everyone grieves in a different way. It’s not a one size fits all emotion.
There’s not a magic date in the future that I will stop grieving. A million different things can trigger it: a song, a scent, a photograph, etc.
To have compassion for myself and to treat myself with loving kindness.
That I am resilient and it’s not going to swallow me whole. That awareness has helped me to be more present with all my feelings, not just the ones that feel good.
The importance of continuing to do my personal healing work. The only way I can be fully in the present moment is by healing my unfinished business from the past.
That it can, and does, exist simultaneously with joy.
That life is short so find the courage to try new things and risk failure.

I have come to see that grief is part of the human condition. No one is exempt from experiencing loss and grief.

To grieve means that we have loved.

Isn’t that a beautiful thing?

The truth is anytime we experience a loss, we feel grief.

The loss could be one thing or a multitude of things happening at the same time, such as:

Death of a spouse, parent, child, sibling, or beloved friend
Divorce or the end of a significant love relationship or friendship
A diagnosis such as cancer, diabetes, or autoimmune disease
A child or loved one caught up in addiction
A move to a new area or downsizing your home
Empty nesting
Career change, such as layoff or retirement
Peri- or menopause that brings hormonal imbalances, brain fog, insomnia, hot flashes, loss of libido, weight gain
Poor body image – not feeling peace with aging

Midlife is a time chock full of transitions that result in feeling deep loss and grief. One thing I know for certain is that we must allow the grief.

If you are in the midst of grief, I know that at times it feels overwhelming and like it takes on a life of its own.

I encourage you to practice allowing and accepting your grief.

Lean into it.

Breathe.

Allow it to wash over you.

Breathe.

Be compassionate with yourself.

Thankfully, grief comes and goes in waves…sometimes gentle, sometimes violent. By learning to lean into it and be IN our grief, we learn to be IN all our feelings.

The gift of being in all our feelings is that we discover that grief and joy can, and do exist simultaneously.

We can’t know joy without knowing grief. Ahhh, the beautiful contrast of life.

Sending you my love,

P.S. If you are in the midst of deep grief, I am here for you. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. I can help you discover how to experience your grief and your joy simultaneously. Contact me at lyn@beautifullyblissed.com.