Did you know that every decision you make in your life adds up to create your destiny?
It’s like you have a tiny calculator in your soul adding up every large and small decision you’ve ever made. If you are extremely happy and fulfilled in your life today, your actions and decisions have been aligned with your values. On the other hand, if you’re not satisfied with your life today, chances are that your actions and decisions haven’t been aligned with your values.
Values are what you stand for (or against) in life. Your values are your compass and they’re creating and guiding your life path. Regardless of whether you’re consciously aware of your values or not, they exist.
So, can you see why it’s important to identify and become intimately aware of your values?
Oftentimes we operate subconsciously on values that were handed down to us from our parents, families, teachers, and society at large. We think we know our values, when in fact, we’re living our lives based on others’ values.
Also, our values can change at various stages in our lives. What was important to you in your 20’s may be vastly different than what is important to you today. Therefore, it’s important to reassess your values every decade.
Here are 9 steps that will help you identify your values:
1. Grab a pen and some paper and think back to a time in your life that you consider one of your peak moments when you felt happy and fulfilled. It was a time when you were completely in your element, everything felt aligned, and you felt on top of the world.
Now, write in as much detail as possible, what were you doing? What were you feeling? Who were you with?
Then, write down what values were being expressed? Were you feeling love, accomplishment, connection, joy, alignment, etc? Write down everything that that made that moment so special to you.
2. Next, think of a time you felt extremely upset, angry, or agitated. Write in as much detail as possible about that moment. What were you doing? What were your feeling? Who were you with?
Which of your values were being compromised?
3. Think of someone (or several people) you admire and are inspired by. Write down the qualities about them that inspire you.
4. Imagine yourself at 95 years old. You are being interviewed for a magazine story about your life. You are filled with gratitude for your joyful, blissful life.
As you talk to the interviewer about your life, what are you most proud of? What about your life matters the most to you? Make a list of those things.
5. Download and print this list of personal values and circle each one that resonates with you. Don’t overthink this. If there’s a value that you’ve identified that’s not on the list, write it down on the sheet.
6. Next, group all the similar values that you have circled in whatever way makes sense to you (i.e. “community”, “connection”, and “family”).
7. Then, choose one word from each grouping that best represents the entire group. (For the example in #6, I would choose “connection” as my value for that group.)
8. Make a list of your top 5-10 values.
9. Lastly, rank your values…at least rank the top 5. To determine the ranking ask yourself, “Is this value more important than this one?” Keep working at it until you feel sure that you have ranked them in the order that feels right to you.
This is not an easy exercise to complete, but as I explained above, it’s extremely worthwhile. It may take you several passes through the list to narrow them down to your top 5-10 and then rank them.
Now that you’ve got your list, you can filter every decision you make or action you take through your values. Do so by asking yourself, “Is this action/decision aligned with my values?”
If “yes”, go for it!
If “no”, honor your values and make a different choice.
I’d love for you to share your top 5-10 values with me. Also, if you have any questions about this exercise or need support in identifying your values, please let me know. I would love to help you to get clear on your values because they are a GPS that helps guide you to your Authentic Self.
Sending you so much love,
