Hello Beautiful!Happy Monday and Happy February!I love the month of February because it’s the month of LOVE and I’m all about love. Love is my top value (we’ll dive into values in another love note).So, in the name of love, each of my weekly love notes to you during the month of February will be on the topic of LOVE…specifically, SELF-love.As women, our brains are wired to be nurturers and givers, yet many of us don’t nurture and give to ourselves. I believe our ability to give and receive love is directly related to how much we love ourselves. We can’t give to others what we don’t give to ourselves, and if our cup is empty, we have nothing to give.
When I consistently carve out time in my mornings to refill my cup, I go out into the world feeling joyful and loving and I exude those feelings in my interactions with others. Yet, when life happens and I’m busy and stressed, the first thing that I abandon are my self-love rituals. Because God knows I can’t spare 30 minutes in my day to devote to loving and nurturing myself. I need to immediately jump into whatever life event is going on at the time.
When I consistently carve out time in my mornings to refill my cup, I go out into the world feeling joyful and loving and I exude those feelings in my interactions with others. Yet, when life happens and I’m busy and stressed, the first thing that I abandon are my self-love rituals. Because God knows I can’t spare 30 minutes in my day to devote to loving and nurturing myself. I need to immediately jump into whatever life event is going on at the time.
I know I’m not alone in this. I’ve seen it with women clients and friends. We put ourselves last on our priority list, and before we know it, we feel depleted, angry, resentful, and unappreciated.Self-love is an inside job and it’s a daily practice.
When I began consciously listening to the voice in my head, I realized I would never talk to another person the way I talk to myself. Like I said last week, Little Miss Perfect is a B-I-T-C-H. Her intentions are good because she’s trying to protect me from feeling shame, but her technique is belittling and berating. It’s certainly not loving and does nothing but causes me to doubt my worthiness and play small.
This week I invite you to listen and pay attention to the way to talk to yourself. Do you have an inner mean girl that is critical, judgmental, and tells you that you’re not enough?
Be a careful shepherd of your thoughts and when you hear your inner mean girl bullying you, stop the thought process and reframe it into a more loving and compassionate truth. For example, if you catch your inner mean girl saying, “I knew you wouldn’t stick to your diet at the Super Bowl party last night. You may as well forget about losing weight because you have no willpower”, stop the thought process. Then, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, “If this were my daughter or a friend saying this about themselves, how would I respond?”
Be a careful shepherd of your thoughts and when you hear your inner mean girl bullying you, stop the thought process and reframe it into a more loving and compassionate truth. For example, if you catch your inner mean girl saying, “I knew you wouldn’t stick to your diet at the Super Bowl party last night. You may as well forget about losing weight because you have no willpower”, stop the thought process. Then, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, “If this were my daughter or a friend saying this about themselves, how would I respond?”
I bet your response would be something like, “Don’t beat yourself up. It was a Super Bowl party and it’s OK to allow yourself to splurge from time to time. Today is a new day and you can make different choices that support your health.”You deserve the same love and compassion from yourself.
So, when you hear your inner mean girl bullying you, meet her with compassion and say, “Thank you for trying to protect me from feeling the pain of failing. I’ve been doing great making healthy food choices and I gave myself permission to enjoy the food at the party last night. Today is a new day and I’m going to make better food choices. How about we go for a walk during our lunch hour?”
Now doesn’t that feel much more empowering than trash-talking to yourself?
It’s important that you acknowledge your inner mean girl for her efforts to keep you in line so that you don’t feel pain and shame. Her methods aren’t effective, but her intentions are good. She truly is trying to protect you.In other words, it’s not effective to meet your inner bully with more bullying. Doing so will only perpetuate the bullying cycle.
This week practice meeting her with love and compassion and notice how you feel.
What would shift in your life if you made choices from a place of love and self-compassion, rather than from a place of shame, blame, or other self-imposed pressure? Would you try something new? What would you allow yourself to do? One thing is certain. You’d be unstoppable.
What would shift in your life if you made choices from a place of love and self-compassion, rather than from a place of shame, blame, or other self-imposed pressure? Would you try something new? What would you allow yourself to do? One thing is certain. You’d be unstoppable.
I invite you to join me this month to make a commitment to practice loving yourself more.
I feel like February, the month of LOVE, is the perfect time for us to make this commitment. Again, self-love is a daily, and even moment-to-moment, practice that doesn’t end on March 1st, but we’ve got to start somewhere.I love hearing from you, so please let me know if you’re making a commitment to practice loving yourself more. Also, if you struggle with any part of this and need additional support, I’m here for you. Reply to this email and I’d love to gift you with a 30-minute call to support you in learning to love yourself more.Sending you so much love,
P.S. Stay tuned this week for a special invitation to join me and two amazing friends on Valentine’s Day for a self-love-filled livestream that’s designed to help you to fall back in love with yourself. I’m super excited to partner with these two ladies to combine our individual gifts and creativity to support you in loving yourself more. I hope you’ll join us. Please mark your calendars for 6:00 MST/7:00 CST. If you can’t make it live, we’ll record it so that you can still participate.